God

You are currently browsing the archive for the God category.

How I betrayed Him

I have always felt that each man is sent into this world with a mission.

God would have assigned into each man, a separate goal (much similar to what we people call computer programs) And the man is expected to live upto the expectations, the expectations of his Creator.

And I have grossly betrayed God on this part.

I was born with many a natural gifts, of which I was proud.

The first thing was, I began to draw (or doodle) before I could speak. Yes. Doodling was one of the first things i did. I doodled everywhere, the walls, furniture and rarely on paper. The entire wal of the living room was covered with grafitti (of course half of them something abstract. I was just four then) One of my fovourite childhood antic was i drew a crow (or something resembling a crow) on the wall with a wax crayon and proudly called my mom to have a look at my latest creation. She very decently asked what it was. I know this incident now only through my parents. I have no way of remembering that. Here goes a rough conversation of what had transcriped in my own words.

Mom: What is it dear?

Me: Crow and vadai.

Mom: Oh! That’s wonderful.

The important point to notice here is what i drew resembled a crow by not even one percent. And the next important thing is there was no vadai.

Mom (After a closer look): But, where is the vadai?

Me (proudly): Oh ma… the crow ate it!

And mom was really proud of me!

I have been drawing since I could remember. It slowly transformed into cartooning, the caricature thing. It all began when one of my dad’s senior colleague visited our place. I was in my fourth class then. He was kind of over weight and I couldnt hide my amusement when I noticed his bottom bulging out of the chair! I was a well mannered kid (now, dont laugh!) and I didnt say anything so as to embarass dad. So, I took a paper and pencil and drew my Bhora uncle silently right to the ‘bulging’ detail, of course as a caricature!

We all had a hearty laugh after he left!

Also, I never could paint. Never. I was born with the caricaturing talent.

And now in college, I have caricatured every professor and student in college and maintained a notebook solely for that purpose! Whenever, a new staff (or rather, a funny looking staff entered the class, friends would request me to draw the poor chap. And I would oblige!

Now, coming to my second so called talent, I could write well, with a dash of creativity (I believe I can write welleven now!) I started reading books well early and by the time I was in fifth class, I was circulating my own hand written magazine in school. Then followed a spate of winning prizes in essay, poetry, short story and oration competitions, many of them extempore. And then the novel I am trying to write now. I have a number of unfinished stories to my credit; many of them unstarted. And now this blog.

And then my third so called talent - Music.

I hail from a family of talented musicians. You would have heard of the famous violinist, Embar Kannan; he is my cousin’s husband and then the somewhat famous Carnatic singer, Deeptha. And in the long line of my big family, also exists another famous musician, the famous prodigy, Keyboard Sathyanarayan. Of course, he is a distant relative and I have not even spoken to him!
Incidently, I too have the same name with a different spelling and I too play the keyboard!

Coming back to the original topic, I too started music training at the age of five. First, it was vocal Carnatic music. At the age of eight, when dad got transferred to Rajasthan, it was classical Hindustani music - vocal, the humble harmonium and tabla. It continued for almost three years. And by the time I turned ten, I could play any song I listened to on the spot on the harmonium. Then sfter a spate of six years in Rajasthan, we came back to our homeland, Tamil Nadu, and than started my Violin and Mridangam classes. You see, there was no Hindustani classes available here and so I was forced to start Carnatic music classes afresh!

Then arrived my first love in my life!

From Singapore!

It was a Yamaha Keyboard - PSR 540!

It became my close friend from that day.

And lo! Started my Western Music classes. It went on for a while. And then there I was composing my own jingles.

I dont know what happenned then; all my classes stopeed miraculously. And I still have no clue why the classes stopped!

I played in various bands in various schools, playing the keyboard, tabla and the drums. Then, I was in the college band and then a rock band until a few months back. The band was incidently named Zephyr! The band went nowhere other than the garage where we practised.

Even now, I play the keyboard and record own compositions in my home studio with Damu. The studio’s nothing but my keyboard, my computer, FL Studio and Sony Acid Pro Studio.

Final Word:

Now, I

1) Rarely draw caricatures

2) Rarely write (other than the novel am trying to write and this blog)

3) Rarely play my keyboard or tabla (Yes, the former is still my first and last love)

So, God gave me these three gifts when I was born and I put to good use none of them!

I have betrayed God.

What do I tell him when He greets me at the gates of Paradise when I am not any more material in this world!

Yes!

I have betrayed Him!

Sometimes i have a feeling; why was i ever born in this world ( its not a question of why not in mars). Was my daddy’s boy. Went to school, played cricket, sang ARR, was in front of Star Sports every Sunday watching Schumi win, always tried to impress the girl next door. Was a typical Indian guy. Well… so why was i ever pushed into the world by God. Did I really want to be born into this place? Did i ever resist God against being born here? I would have been happy in Paradise surrounded by Apsaras.

So what’s the big idea of me taking birth from my mother’s womb into this scum of a place.

I had not got this idea a few months back.

That’s when things started going wrong.

I just couldnt learn the bass guitar. Some dude brought this stupid set top box system in madras(only in madras). There goes my F1(Well.. am happy though that someone has lit a fire under this dude’s a**)Stopped going to school.(Went to college then. But that’s altogetherly a different issue!)

Even the girl next door shifted place!

Coming back to the God thing, I guess He would be having a nice laugh behind my back.

With the world questioning my every move( Nowadays, i just take a bath for the society’s sake!) i dunno whom to turn to. Why was i ever born in this world? Are You listening?

But as James Hetfield wrote

“never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know….

….Nothin’ Else Matters”

Provides the silver lining to my life…

Guess what?

A new girl has occupied the next door.